Alba gu brath!

Scotland til Judgement!

As some of you know (yet know not the reasons) I've been out of good health for the past year.  My recovery was a long and toilsome journey and the physical therapy has been just as grueling.  Thanks to all of you who stuck in there for your favorite Baby Buttface.

Since I've been able to continue my blog, I've been so far "backdating" the posts.  I was trying to date them as close to the actual days I and my trusted companions ventured into the wide world.  However, since our time in Scotland was about a week long and because Baby Buttface would like to start writing in the present in hopes to appear more up-to-date as far as search engines go, I've decided to post actual dates for the writings.  Not that this matters to you much, but I'm sure there'll be someone out there wanting to pick a fight with consistency.  To them, I say, "screw you hippie!"  Moving on:

Scotland, as it was almost a year ago, was supergreattimes!  Baby Buttface decided that there wasn't much humorous content to share about most of the trip.  Especially since the last couple days I was there was wrought with horror and disfigurement.  I can speak of it briefly now without going into some sort of delirious state of shock but I'll dedicate an entire blog entry to that in a few days time.  Mostly, I would just like to share some pictures for the first part of the trip in this blog.  The next two blogs will show more of Baby's favorite part of Scotland and also the "accident," as it's being called now.

Enjoy:

Adhamh rolling around as he first steps foot on Scottish soil!

Adhamh again being a retard and kissing the statue of Robert the Bruce

Karla acting the part

Karla standing hillside at Loch Schiel, where one
of the shots from Harry Potter's Hogwarts Castle was done...

yep...those two are total nerds

Adhamh being a nerd at the Glenfinnan Viaduct.  It was rainy that day
or the two would've dragged me out to the thing. 

oh yeah, did I mention that the Glenfinna Viaduct is where some shots of Harry Potter was filmed?  NERDS!



a field on the way up to see Auchendoun
Castle...SHEEPIES!



more landscape pretties

yep...there's the ruins of Auchendoun Castle

tee hee...thought this was funny.  Most of the same signs said "Old People"
wonder why this one was different.

OKAY!  Believe it or not, this horrendous piece of liquid diaper additive is the front face of the Scottish Parliament building!  This is what happens when you take an old aesthetic city like Edinburgh and add some retard architect who wants symbolism to the mix.  Take for example those gun-shaped things by the windows:  those are supposed to be the "curtains drawn back to let the public know that they're not hiding anything."  ACK!!  I'll spare you the rest of the building and for sure the inside!  This place is ugly!  And Baby Buttface knows Ugly when I see it!



And then you have the street performers of Edinburgh...



Baby Buttface couldn't help but to get down and show off his moves!





flaming nunchucks!  BAD F-ING ASS!!





Baby Buttface sure is fond of this Fire stuff...makes me want to get more of it and play with it as I will!

DAMN STRAIGHT!

Well, that's the end of Scotland post 1.  Stay tuned for Baby's favorite part of this grand old plaid land!



Baby Buttface drinks the Irish under the table!

G'Day MATE!  Baby Buttface and family has landed in Northern Ireland.  Belfast to be correct.  From there it was just a quick rental car trip up to the shore for some awesome attractions!

Here I sit on the rail next to a cliff with the Carrick-a-rede rope bridge in the background.  I'm told it was used long ago for people to find a good fishing spot.  This thing spans over the cliff at about 100 feet above the water below.  I sure as heck didn't see any feet but mine when I looked down so I'm not certain what they meant by that.

hanging on to the cliff edge.  Or doing my "stalking the prey"

impression...you can be judge.

Moving on:  of course, as we all know, Baby Buttface is just a wittle baby (more effective if you say it like talking to a baby (just not at my face should I get offended that you're talking like an idiot though)).  This means that the windy ocean air is quick to jostle me around.

finally on the bridge, looking across at Karla

looking down to the water below

After trying unsuccessfully to bounce the bridge free from it's supports, fall over to the other side, and do my impression of that ugly bald dude in the Temple of Doom; we made our way along the tiny winding back-Ireland roads to the Giant's Causeway.  Apparently, these geomagicalthermic formations from long ago are attractive to visitors.  I saw a field of rock that was hard for a baby like me to get around on.  But hey:

"I can make it on my own!"

We stopped in a close-by village for some traditional Irish fare, had a pint of ye ole Smiddicks as they say.  And I completely forgot to make a phone call.  Luckily there was one of those old red phone booths out on the corner!

A LITTLE PRIVACY PLEASE!?

Uh, yeah.  That was about the extent of the stay in Northern Ireland.  The next day we made it to Ireland, which was south of Northern Ireland and not even the same country because they're fighting.  Bullocks!!  Quitcherbitchen and play nice I say.  Even Baby Buttface knows how to share, and I haven't even been in kindergarten yet!

Dublin was a different place altogether.  A huge city scene which was only made more huge with the weekend's festivities of the World Cup.  So many people that Baby Buttface had to drink more and hide in Adhamh's back pack most of the time.  OH and DRANK we did.  In fact, Karla shares one of my beer meccas...the Guinness Storehouse.  (side note: all breweries and distilleries are my Meccas!)

Oh what an experience!  There's no real way to explain how Guinness tastes straight from the source compared to what we've been getting in the States.  And sure, it'd be most people's folly to jump the the conclusion that it's the other water from the other breweries Guinness has in the world that changes it's flavor.  But it's more than that.  It's...fresher...no it's cleaner...no!  It just...is.  I can't bring myself to drink Guinness from any other source than the Storehouse in Ire---wait!  What the crap is Baby Buttface saying!?  Of course, Baby can drink.  Baby Buttface is a CHAMP!!

Karla learning how to pour the Perfect Pint!

Karla and her Perfect Pint!

And you wouldn't believe it unless you were put in the situation, but Asians are unexplainably annoying with cameras!  Especially if you get a large touristy group that can't speak a lick of English in one place, all with cameras, all with stoopid on their faces!  They even grabbed Adhamh's pint as it sat on the bartop waiting for it's final pour to top it off (the "perfect pint" requires two pours per glass to fill it the first time, with a break of two minutes in between).  Those idiot asians grabbed Adhamh's pint to get it in the shot with their pints for their idiot picture.  I'm sorry but if Baby Buttface was forced to witness someone touching his Perfect Pint, asian heads would be littering the Guinness Storehouse floors and entrails and asian skin would be the new wallpaper!  You don't mess with another drinker's tasty beverage!  ASIANS!!! 

the only language they speak is giggles and shouting!  Oh and camera clicking!  I know someday I'll have to Take On the asian countries in my travels...but let's just say that Baby Buttface isn't hurrying to buy tickets to that side of the World any time soon!

All in all, Great times were had at the Guinness Storehouse.  However, there were other things to attend to in Dublin.  So...Moving on...

No no no...not moving on.  Speaking of Asians, this was the funniest thing a Baby could find when tipsy in another country:  A Chinese restaurant named...CHARLIE'S!!  We saw four of them!  I guess the name doesn't have as much meaning over there than it does in the good ol' USA!  Too bad.

And of course, the BAD ASS cafe!  Baby Buttface is loving Dublin more and more around every turn of the corner!

The hilarity of it all was pointed out to Baby even more as "The Tart with the Cart" came into view!  As it's affectionally known, the Tart was just asking for me to jump all over.  I dove right in to those shiny milkmaids, much to the delight and laughter of people in the area, only to almost chip what teeth I don't have!  WHO MAKES BOOBS OUT OF METAL!!?!  C'MON!

But alas, Dublin was great and a nice place to visit.  Maybe even a great place to live.  I really didn't want to leave and Adhamh gave us all just that chance.  See, the first night we were there, he and Karla took a haunted ghost tour of Dublin.  Baby Buttface is just a widdle baby and scares easily and didn't attend.  And for good reason too!  Apparently, Adhamh felt the need to stick is left hand into a cursed archway of an old church.  Were Baby there he could have told him he was an idiot and shouldn't do it.  But NOOOOOOO, he did it for sure and the next day, Adhamh lost his passport!  Like, yep you guessed it, an idiot!  Not "asian" idiot mind you, but idiot all the same. 

And you all know that Baby Buttface is currently writing these blogs retroactively due to my bad accident, so Baby can tell you that Adhamh and Karla have had something go wrong on every trip they've taken since...idiot!

Oh well, Dublin sure is nice.  You should go.  And take me with you!

The River Liffey, Dublin

Combien coûte-t-elle? Baby Buttface hits up Paris!

Et j'ai pensé que les Britanniques étaient prétentieux!! Mais, plus d'une manière importante, comment une ville peut-elle baiser si sale!?

Oh, sorry, I forgot where I was at for a second there.  Yep, during our week in England, we took a side trip to Paris, France.  Filthy filthy place.  Baby was impressed with the cleanliness of London as big as it is.  And the fact that you could never find a trash can around.  Makes me wonder how the English throw out their mistakes...that is, unless they take them to random wedding showers and discar--whoops!  Sorry, forgot where I was at for a second again.  Either way, Frenchies have trash cans on the streets but the place is just downright dirty. 

 

But, in the midst of all that, you do get some nuggets of awe.

Of course, the artwork in the public areas was...artsy.  But I'm not so sure about the interpretation of some of this stuff!  French people are odd to say the least.

However the artwork, Baby Buttface is supercute and gained the praise of Karla. This whole "baby" gig isn't so bad at times.

Our first stop on our Paris excursion was Notre Dame Cathedral.  I know I'm a tiny baby and all, but this place was HUGE!  This picture doesn't do the church justice.  Those tiny little dots at the base of it are people.  Sheesh.

Baby needed some help into the picture...and it STILL looked huge! 

And of course, Baby can take pictures wherever he feels like.  SO here!  The place doesn't even look real from the inside.

Then, Finally, up to the top of the old place.  Good thing Baby Buttface is cute and small  and can use that to his advantage when it comes to climbing hundreds of stone steps in tight places.  Adhamh and Karla kept passing me off to each other but we made it outside to the viewing area!  Lightweights!

I'd be bored too if that's all I had to do was sit there for hundreds of years!

Here, my new friends were playing hide and go seek with me! 
They didn't realize I left already!

I went inside and found a new friend!  He gave me a ride on his squishy shoulder.  But, he had to go bang on that large metal thing in the background.  Strange though.  As I was leaving, the goon yelled out to me "HEY YOU GUUUUUYS!!"

Adhamh, Karla, and I quickly made our way to a museum.  The two love birds kept calling it "the loove." I sure didn't have the heart to tell them that, even though I'm just a baby and a few weeks old, it was actually a big Pyramid made of glass.  Silly Americans.

Inside and underground, there was a lot of statues.  One of which got me thinking I used to be a goose wrestler in a past life!

There was also this painting of a moaning lady named Lisa who everyone couldn't get enough of.  Apparently, she has some really awesome smile.  I didn't put a picture of it on here because I think everyone was making a big deal out of nothing.  She wasn't smiling...probably just gas. 

I'll give it to the Frenchies though, they sure know how to make a Baby hungry!  "Let's make a statue of a girl with no shirt on!"  Too bad she didn't have any arms, or she could've held me while I sampled.  No one said these people were smart.

Good thing Adhamh was there to help get me some lunch!  Too bad she was dry as a bone.

(psst...he looks stoopid in this picture!)

After a short trip around the place and looking all the old stuff...I saw it!  PROOF of my earlier suspicions that Baby Buttface DID have a past life.  Here's a painting showing me while all standing around were in awe of my...wait...wait a second!  What is that frilly guy doing!? 

From the Glass Pyramid, we made our way over to the Eifel Tower. 

This is where Adhamh and Karla tried to ditch Baby so they wouldn't have to carry me up any more stairs...the place had an elevator for cri'sakes!  DON'T YOU PEOPLE REALIZE I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES!!!?!!!  However, Baby Buttface is resourceful and without money to pay for the elevator, began to scale the outside of the structure.  You can't keep Baby down!

Baby finally made it to the top!  But Baby Buttface is only a wittle baby and found

quickly that it was very windy!

So, I met back up with Karla and Adhamh and instantly forgave them.  Hey, they're the only family I got!  So we saw the sights that The Eifel Tower had to offer.  We stopped into the cafe and Baby had to regain his energy from the climb.  Caramel corn and a pastry hits the spot.  What can I say?  Baby likes a good tart.

And while Adhamh wasn't looking, Baby made his move!

Well, overall, Paris was fun and scenic; I don't think there's much need to return though.  One day was good enough.  I hope you enjoyed seeing our escapades in Frenchytown.  My next post will be from Northern Ireland!  But before you go...

As they are famous for saying in France:

"Vieille Pénis Croûte Sèche!"