Baby Buttface drinks the Irish under the table!

G'Day MATE!  Baby Buttface and family has landed in Northern Ireland.  Belfast to be correct.  From there it was just a quick rental car trip up to the shore for some awesome attractions!

Here I sit on the rail next to a cliff with the Carrick-a-rede rope bridge in the background.  I'm told it was used long ago for people to find a good fishing spot.  This thing spans over the cliff at about 100 feet above the water below.  I sure as heck didn't see any feet but mine when I looked down so I'm not certain what they meant by that.

hanging on to the cliff edge.  Or doing my "stalking the prey"

impression...you can be judge.

Moving on:  of course, as we all know, Baby Buttface is just a wittle baby (more effective if you say it like talking to a baby (just not at my face should I get offended that you're talking like an idiot though)).  This means that the windy ocean air is quick to jostle me around.

finally on the bridge, looking across at Karla

looking down to the water below

After trying unsuccessfully to bounce the bridge free from it's supports, fall over to the other side, and do my impression of that ugly bald dude in the Temple of Doom; we made our way along the tiny winding back-Ireland roads to the Giant's Causeway.  Apparently, these geomagicalthermic formations from long ago are attractive to visitors.  I saw a field of rock that was hard for a baby like me to get around on.  But hey:

"I can make it on my own!"

We stopped in a close-by village for some traditional Irish fare, had a pint of ye ole Smiddicks as they say.  And I completely forgot to make a phone call.  Luckily there was one of those old red phone booths out on the corner!

A LITTLE PRIVACY PLEASE!?

Uh, yeah.  That was about the extent of the stay in Northern Ireland.  The next day we made it to Ireland, which was south of Northern Ireland and not even the same country because they're fighting.  Bullocks!!  Quitcherbitchen and play nice I say.  Even Baby Buttface knows how to share, and I haven't even been in kindergarten yet!

Dublin was a different place altogether.  A huge city scene which was only made more huge with the weekend's festivities of the World Cup.  So many people that Baby Buttface had to drink more and hide in Adhamh's back pack most of the time.  OH and DRANK we did.  In fact, Karla shares one of my beer meccas...the Guinness Storehouse.  (side note: all breweries and distilleries are my Meccas!)

Oh what an experience!  There's no real way to explain how Guinness tastes straight from the source compared to what we've been getting in the States.  And sure, it'd be most people's folly to jump the the conclusion that it's the other water from the other breweries Guinness has in the world that changes it's flavor.  But it's more than that.  It's...fresher...no it's cleaner...no!  It just...is.  I can't bring myself to drink Guinness from any other source than the Storehouse in Ire---wait!  What the crap is Baby Buttface saying!?  Of course, Baby can drink.  Baby Buttface is a CHAMP!!

Karla learning how to pour the Perfect Pint!

Karla and her Perfect Pint!

And you wouldn't believe it unless you were put in the situation, but Asians are unexplainably annoying with cameras!  Especially if you get a large touristy group that can't speak a lick of English in one place, all with cameras, all with stoopid on their faces!  They even grabbed Adhamh's pint as it sat on the bartop waiting for it's final pour to top it off (the "perfect pint" requires two pours per glass to fill it the first time, with a break of two minutes in between).  Those idiot asians grabbed Adhamh's pint to get it in the shot with their pints for their idiot picture.  I'm sorry but if Baby Buttface was forced to witness someone touching his Perfect Pint, asian heads would be littering the Guinness Storehouse floors and entrails and asian skin would be the new wallpaper!  You don't mess with another drinker's tasty beverage!  ASIANS!!! 

the only language they speak is giggles and shouting!  Oh and camera clicking!  I know someday I'll have to Take On the asian countries in my travels...but let's just say that Baby Buttface isn't hurrying to buy tickets to that side of the World any time soon!

All in all, Great times were had at the Guinness Storehouse.  However, there were other things to attend to in Dublin.  So...Moving on...

No no no...not moving on.  Speaking of Asians, this was the funniest thing a Baby could find when tipsy in another country:  A Chinese restaurant named...CHARLIE'S!!  We saw four of them!  I guess the name doesn't have as much meaning over there than it does in the good ol' USA!  Too bad.

And of course, the BAD ASS cafe!  Baby Buttface is loving Dublin more and more around every turn of the corner!

The hilarity of it all was pointed out to Baby even more as "The Tart with the Cart" came into view!  As it's affectionally known, the Tart was just asking for me to jump all over.  I dove right in to those shiny milkmaids, much to the delight and laughter of people in the area, only to almost chip what teeth I don't have!  WHO MAKES BOOBS OUT OF METAL!!?!  C'MON!

But alas, Dublin was great and a nice place to visit.  Maybe even a great place to live.  I really didn't want to leave and Adhamh gave us all just that chance.  See, the first night we were there, he and Karla took a haunted ghost tour of Dublin.  Baby Buttface is just a widdle baby and scares easily and didn't attend.  And for good reason too!  Apparently, Adhamh felt the need to stick is left hand into a cursed archway of an old church.  Were Baby there he could have told him he was an idiot and shouldn't do it.  But NOOOOOOO, he did it for sure and the next day, Adhamh lost his passport!  Like, yep you guessed it, an idiot!  Not "asian" idiot mind you, but idiot all the same. 

And you all know that Baby Buttface is currently writing these blogs retroactively due to my bad accident, so Baby can tell you that Adhamh and Karla have had something go wrong on every trip they've taken since...idiot!

Oh well, Dublin sure is nice.  You should go.  And take me with you!

The River Liffey, Dublin

Combien coûte-t-elle? Baby Buttface hits up Paris!

Et j'ai pensé que les Britanniques étaient prétentieux!! Mais, plus d'une manière importante, comment une ville peut-elle baiser si sale!?

Oh, sorry, I forgot where I was at for a second there.  Yep, during our week in England, we took a side trip to Paris, France.  Filthy filthy place.  Baby was impressed with the cleanliness of London as big as it is.  And the fact that you could never find a trash can around.  Makes me wonder how the English throw out their mistakes...that is, unless they take them to random wedding showers and discar--whoops!  Sorry, forgot where I was at for a second again.  Either way, Frenchies have trash cans on the streets but the place is just downright dirty. 

 

But, in the midst of all that, you do get some nuggets of awe.

Of course, the artwork in the public areas was...artsy.  But I'm not so sure about the interpretation of some of this stuff!  French people are odd to say the least.

However the artwork, Baby Buttface is supercute and gained the praise of Karla. This whole "baby" gig isn't so bad at times.

Our first stop on our Paris excursion was Notre Dame Cathedral.  I know I'm a tiny baby and all, but this place was HUGE!  This picture doesn't do the church justice.  Those tiny little dots at the base of it are people.  Sheesh.

Baby needed some help into the picture...and it STILL looked huge! 

And of course, Baby can take pictures wherever he feels like.  SO here!  The place doesn't even look real from the inside.

Then, Finally, up to the top of the old place.  Good thing Baby Buttface is cute and small  and can use that to his advantage when it comes to climbing hundreds of stone steps in tight places.  Adhamh and Karla kept passing me off to each other but we made it outside to the viewing area!  Lightweights!

I'd be bored too if that's all I had to do was sit there for hundreds of years!

Here, my new friends were playing hide and go seek with me! 
They didn't realize I left already!

I went inside and found a new friend!  He gave me a ride on his squishy shoulder.  But, he had to go bang on that large metal thing in the background.  Strange though.  As I was leaving, the goon yelled out to me "HEY YOU GUUUUUYS!!"

Adhamh, Karla, and I quickly made our way to a museum.  The two love birds kept calling it "the loove." I sure didn't have the heart to tell them that, even though I'm just a baby and a few weeks old, it was actually a big Pyramid made of glass.  Silly Americans.

Inside and underground, there was a lot of statues.  One of which got me thinking I used to be a goose wrestler in a past life!

There was also this painting of a moaning lady named Lisa who everyone couldn't get enough of.  Apparently, she has some really awesome smile.  I didn't put a picture of it on here because I think everyone was making a big deal out of nothing.  She wasn't smiling...probably just gas. 

I'll give it to the Frenchies though, they sure know how to make a Baby hungry!  "Let's make a statue of a girl with no shirt on!"  Too bad she didn't have any arms, or she could've held me while I sampled.  No one said these people were smart.

Good thing Adhamh was there to help get me some lunch!  Too bad she was dry as a bone.

(psst...he looks stoopid in this picture!)

After a short trip around the place and looking all the old stuff...I saw it!  PROOF of my earlier suspicions that Baby Buttface DID have a past life.  Here's a painting showing me while all standing around were in awe of my...wait...wait a second!  What is that frilly guy doing!? 

From the Glass Pyramid, we made our way over to the Eifel Tower. 

This is where Adhamh and Karla tried to ditch Baby so they wouldn't have to carry me up any more stairs...the place had an elevator for cri'sakes!  DON'T YOU PEOPLE REALIZE I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES!!!?!!!  However, Baby Buttface is resourceful and without money to pay for the elevator, began to scale the outside of the structure.  You can't keep Baby down!

Baby finally made it to the top!  But Baby Buttface is only a wittle baby and found

quickly that it was very windy!

So, I met back up with Karla and Adhamh and instantly forgave them.  Hey, they're the only family I got!  So we saw the sights that The Eifel Tower had to offer.  We stopped into the cafe and Baby had to regain his energy from the climb.  Caramel corn and a pastry hits the spot.  What can I say?  Baby likes a good tart.

And while Adhamh wasn't looking, Baby made his move!

Well, overall, Paris was fun and scenic; I don't think there's much need to return though.  One day was good enough.  I hope you enjoyed seeing our escapades in Frenchytown.  My next post will be from Northern Ireland!  But before you go...

As they are famous for saying in France:

"Vieille Pénis Croûte Sèche!"

Baby Buttface Takes on the World...literally!

(click on any picture to see it full size)

Well, they made it!  Karla and Adhamh finally touched down in London town across some "big pond."  Between the long drive to Chi town, the next to no amount of sleep they got on the wedding night (and it wasn't even for the right reason either!), and the 8 hour flight; I don't think they noticed the stowaway in their midst! That was, I guess, until they were already there and opened their bag:

So they were stuck with Baby Buttface for the entirety of their Honeymoon.  Which, by the way, I have a huge complaint to put on the table about this!  There was NO honey anywhere to be seen on this "honeymoon."  Saw the moon, sure but what the crap!?

Thanks to Karla's crazy subconscious drive to be a travel agent, there was no time whatsoever to check into the hotel, rest, or anything but hit the ground running!  One of the first stops was down to the Palace area.  Some lady who wears a shiny metal wreath on her head lives in this MASSIVE house which is guarded by these tall red guys with big bushy black hair.  Hold on!  I think I have a picture of one somewhere.  YES!------>>>>>>>>>>

Amongst all the hoards of people in the streets, it was hard to get a view of any of it.  But as Karla assured Adhamh and me, there'd be time for that later.  We were heading to a "Minster in the West" or some such thing.

Along the way, we stopped for a quick photo op at some tower with a clock on it.  These British people sure are odd.  I mean, yeah it's Big, but who needs to name a clock tower?  Let alone call it Ben!  I would have called it some snooty English tag like William or Heratio or something.

Karla, I don't think realizes how this picture of us could go in another direction altogether!

And of course, I saw this as the perfect opportunity to do my impression of a Japanese Movie Monster on a rampage!  RAWR!!

We also saw the Westminster Abbey.  Here's me out in front. Since they don't let you take pictures inside.  I told them that I was BABY BUTTFACE!!  I was like, "haven't you seen my blog? I'm trying to document my travels here people?!"  Leave it to the Brits to be snobs anyways.  Can you believe they've never heard of me?!  After the carnage I left for them at Benjamin, they won't think to stop me next time.

Moving along, we saw and did a LOT of crap in London and the UK in general.  Some things of note:

St. Paul's Catherdral.  Not supposed to take pictures in here either!  YOU CAN'T STOP THE BABY!!

A Beafeater at the Tower of London.  Which is a total ripoff!  This guy wasn't eating ANY beef.  All he did was walk around and look gay in his frilly outfit!  Karla posed for this shot and the guy (who wanted no nonsense around the place) didn't even notice as she slid me in the shot too.  Not that I'd want to be seen anywhere near this guy!  At least his Gin is tasty.

Although, at first I wasn't going to say they were ALL bad.  On our boat ride down the river Thames to Greenwich Village, I met a fast friend!  But alas, as fast as we became friends, we became even faster enemies.

And of course, as usual, I underestimated the pretentiousness of foreigners as he got insulted!  All I did was comment on how prissy he looked.  I mean what self-respecting bear wears flowers?! C'MON!   Baby Buttface didn't deserve that sucker punch!

Down by the Millineum Bridge, we ran across this awesome little area:

And at the Tower of London, Karla helped me set up this shot where it looks like I've got my head on the pillow where all the beheadings took place.  Ah such famous people as Queen Anne Boleyn and Queen Catherine Howard shared the pillow with my head!  Baby Buttface loves the ladies...even old dead ones!

Oh look, here Karla stands watch!  Where she commands all to stand who are suspect of being foul knaves!  Thanks for gettin' Baby's back, baby!

and this one...tee hee...enough said!  Which way do you think I went?

We also took some side trips out of London town to Stonehenge and Tintern Abbey in Wales.

Karla got to drive her first car on the opposite side of the road on these trips:

All while Adhamh stuffed his face with Scotch Eggs...

...which are tasty but disappointing in two ways:

1. These little balls of joy were not quite as big as BABY BUTTFACE'S BALLS!!

2. There is NO FRIGGIN' SCOTCH in them!!!  Is there NO alcohol for Baby Buttface to consume overseas?!?  ANYONE?!

At our tour of Buckingham Palace, we dropped in on the scene at the palace cafe.  Here I am enjoying my Royal Tart.  The chocolate thing on the table!  Sheesh, what were you thinking?  Now, can someone get this old lady with the shiny wreath on her head away from me?  She's starting to creep me out!

And a visit to the British Museum where the Acropolis of Greece is being held prisoner.  But there's nothing imprisoning about this guys pose.  (help, Baby Buttface can't look away!)

Yep, there is it.

And at last, after a long-yet-fulfilling week running about, Baby Buttface kicks the two Black's out of the hotel for some ME-time.  Relaxing on the bed, and enjoying the patio.

 

 

Overall, London isn't a bad place to hang out for a week.  Lot's of history and lots of things to do and see.  Feel like Baby Buttface's tiny little brain is filled to the brim with experience.  I'm exhausted.  I had better get my rest though.  Tomorrow is a new day, and that means a new location.  For all the frilly, snobbish, brits in this country...let's hope that France is much better!  There's no way it can be that bad, right?