The Short Life of Baby Buttface...

Hello.  It's...still difficult to talk of this but it's been long enough.  I'm sick of sulking around about it.  It happened.  It was real and Baby needs to deal with it.  They say talking about the accident will help and now that I've brought you all up to speed on the Europe trip, it's time to let you in on why your favorite Baby Buttface's part of the trip was cut short.

It began the day we hit Drumnadrochit, Scotland.  September 23, 2009 to be exact.  Urquhart Castle was our first stop along the lake.  It was a bonus really, since we were really just trying to get to the hotel for the evening at first.  The Castle grounds were about to close so we hopped on in.

It definitely was a beautiful day, a beautiful area, and a beautiful backdrop for what was to come.

Karla even gave her owl impression in what used to be the Aviary of the castle.  The good times and acting silly are the only decent memory I have of this location.  It's probably a good thing the fun blinded me from what would happen.



note the high-tech binoculars she uses!



Oh, did I forget to mention that the ruins of Urquhart Castle stand directly on the shore of Loch Ness?  Sorry.  Here's a shot of Karla searching out over the water for the famed Nessie!  We were all in anticipation of seeing the fabled monster.  Me especially, I was hoping to become fast friends with her and perhaps score a ride on her back.

Well, the evening was coming to a close as was the castle grounds.  It was a little disappointing that we never caught sight of Nessie, but Baby Buttface needed some beauty sleep.  It takes special care to look this good!

The next day, before moving north and out of the area, we stopped down to the loch itself just so we could say we touched it.  It wasn't long before Karla and Adhamh began searching for this Nessie again...to no avail!

walking down the steps to the shoreline of
Loch Ness

Here I am looking out over the water.  But mostly watching as Adhamh attempts to add dysentery to his diet by actually drinking from the Loch itself.

Here I am sitting on Karla's feet getting really close to the water's edge!

And that's when it happened!  Adhamh Spotted the Beast!

Just as quickly, however, Nessie disappeared under the water until Karla spotted her resurfacing in a small inlet of the loch a while later...

By then, it was too late.  I had slipped into the water.  And if you'll remember from Adhamh's bachelor party, Baby Buttface floats.  Which, at first, we thought this was a good thing so that I wouldn't drown.  However, to our astonishment, it made Baby Buttface an easy target.  And that Nessie is quick!!

Baby's life began to flash before his eyes.  Which was over almost instantly since Baby Buttface hasn't lived but more than a couple weeks.  And then...nothing.  I must have blacked out because my next memory is waking up in the hospital with blurry doctors swarming all around me.

Luckily, Karla was quick to grab the camera or I would have only their tear-filled story to know what truly happened:



The beast, out of luck or fate who knows, found that fluff was not all that great a food source.  Although maimed within an inch of my life, I was dropped back into the water, which was now blood red.

The rolling waves brought me back in within reach of the shoreline.

It even helped wash some of the blood away so the extent of the damage could be seen.  This was very upsetting to Karla and Adhamh as they told me.  I can barely look at these pictures without breaking down.  I just can't believe it.

Not breathing and left for dead (almost headless) by the monster that had enthralled us so, I laid helpless on the lakeside as the beast disappeared one last time...guiltless.

As shocking as it was to see Baby Buttface in this state, Adhamh kicked into high gear!  Realizing that seconds were everything, he ran to my aid and pulled me away from the bank as Karla called for help.



All of Adhamh's time watching House was the only thing that may have been the
only thing that saved Baby Buttface in this case.
It was like second nature!



But alas, all hope seemed to be lost.  The CPR (done perfectly and without drama) had no effect.

Adhamh had no choice but to stop.  Realizing the worst had just become a reality, Karla moved in slowly and knelt to my lifeless body. 

Adhamh, knowing it would be the last real tender moment they would have with Baby Buttface...and seeing his only chance to take that prize-winning photograph that would define his career, picked up the camera at this point and fired off pure genius...

That's when the emergency services arrived.  Adhamh was about to tell them it was too late amidst his sobbing when, out of nowhere, Baby began looking around and passed out again.  I have no recollection of this but it's the one thing that alerted everyone at the scene that I may still have had a chance!  They placed me in the back of the rig, and on the way to the hospital they managed to stabilize my vitals enough for emergency surgery.  Which was a surprising feat considering Adhamh and Karla had no faith that the crew working on me was competent enough for something like this...I mean, they were driving a "Budget" ambulance after all!

Baby Buttface is grateful to Adhamh's quick thinking and Karla's instant nature to record the event.  Believe me, this accident was a defining moment for all involved.  Adhamh learned that House is bad ass.  Karla learned that life is precious.  And Baby Buttface learned that the Loch Ness monster would be best advised to remain hidden.  Nessie will die at my hand someday, have no doubt.  She almost took my head and I will take hers.  The amount of recovery and physical therapy that followed that day is more than enough to turn a baby's heart to vengeance.  I will begin to take you through that journey soon.  However, that is a story for another blog.