It all started yesterday. Baby Buttface opened the eyes of wonderment as the first steps into the world were made. But first...a little history lesson!
My first blog posting is a culmination of minds that sprung up when I was abandoned at a wedding shower by what I can only assume is my mother. And don't even ask about a father...if he exists at all! I was literally dumped out of a bag as some sort of sick party game for the amusement of a crowd. Then, just as quickly as I was torn from my mother's "loving" arms...THEY came in my life.
A nice young lady by the name of Karla and her soon-to-be husband, Adhamh (pronounced like Adam only spelled way cooler) picked me up from behind where else; a basement bar.
They mentioned they were heading to another fine establishment to finish up a World Beer Tour minitour and invited me along. So I guess you can say that Karla and Adhamh are my newly adopted...family. Okay okay, enough mushy stuff. We'll just leave it at friends for now. Lord knows I don't want to attach myself to another person only to be abandoned again. Life is cruel like that. But hey...good friends and good beer is always how I'd like to spend my nights before a long drive.
So here we are at Old Chicago in Bettendorf, Iowa of all places. Getting ready to get our drink on! Karla and Adhamh bought me my first two rounds to celebrate our meeting.
Mmmmmmmm, Leinenkugel's Honeyweiss!!!
Karla and Adhamh soon found out that Baby Buttface's own weight in alcohol is no match for...Baby Buttface! And that Baby Buttface begins to talk in the 3rd-person when Baby gets tipsy.
AND that Baby Buttface is a CHAMP!!
Round TWO! FIGHT!!
Round Two seemed to de-evolve Baby Buttface back to an almost invertebrate state of being. It's the only reason Baby can think of as to why both legs were immorphous and wobbly. They couldn't hold Baby's weight anymore. Peculiar!
But ah, the loss of some motor functions were all too worth the fresh, smooth taste of Leinie's Sunset Wheat! Baby Buttface could have drown in it last night and not felt regret for only living a few hours in this world.
Luckily, our too-cool awesome waitress, JEN, stopped by just in time to order the next rounds! She even took Baby Buttface for a ride in her apron. However, Baby had other things on the agenda...
As the night was winding down, Baby Buttface discovered that being absolutely shit-faced results in certain side effects including, but not limited to,
a Glowing Head!
Baby Buttface shall dub this strange and scientifically rare phenomena, Glow Worm Syndrome (or GWS).
Somewhere in the drunken stupor, Baby recalls Karla adding her two cents in when she cautioningly claimed,
"Baby Buttface, you really like Hittin' the Sauce!"
Baby Buttface also has a habit of taking things a little too literally when under the influence...
After cleaning up...Karla, Adhamh, and Baby Buttface drove off into the night to a magical land they called Lafayette, Indiana. Being four hours away from Baby's birthplace really opened my eyes to see that the world is much bigger than I thought. Karla and Adhamh called this place a temporary home. And for the time being, I will too.
Until I decide to explore the rest of what this new world has to offer. I think I've got the itch now. So, stepping back to the beginning of my point in all this...
I'll be taking my first steps out the door soon to see what there is to see and do what there is to do and drink what there is to drink!! Look here in the near future as Baby Buttface Takes On The World!!!
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